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Designer: Elies
Base code:OHsaygoodbye
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

survival guide to the national university of stairs

11:34 AM
1. comfortable shoes. you do not want to be running back and forth from lecture to tutorial from arts to science in toe pinching balance losing shoes. the status of social pariah will be genereously awarded to you if you trip and fall and do other similar embarrassing things

2. a multi plug point adapter thing. there is constant competition for plug points everywhere in the university and if you miraculously find an unused one, most likely it will be broken. bring a multi plug pin while wearing a low cut cleavage revealing outfit to the library so you can seduce other resident nerds and convince them to share their power socket with you. and then you bend low and flash your multi plug at him.

3. earphones. it is imperative that one must be as anti-social as others around you. and it helps to listen to something to block out stressed people who sing along out loud to their ipods.

4. a few kind words for the photocopying machine. it is alive. it knows when you are short of time, and it will definitely give you a paper jam when you don't need it. speak to it kindly and sweetly and be nice to you in times of massive photocopying.

5. gloves, scarf, boots, leggings, jackets. whatever you need to keep you warm in lecture theatres and libraries. of course, make sure underneath you are skimpily dressed in a pair of tiny denim shorts and a shirt that says 'i lost my number, can i have yours?' across the chest so that you will blend in in arts when you are out of aircon. if you are in any other uncool faculty, wear to school whatever you wore to bed, and make sure you layer up in lessons.

6. shortcuts! know all the shortcuts. do not follow the signs. signs take you in circles around the university.

7. do not bring money with you when you go to the forum. by the time you walk out of it, you would have bought yourself overprices earrings, something pretty but unnecessary to beautify your laptop, clothes, slippers, books etc.

8. a glare. for everyone. an especially ferocious one for irritating couples walking around campus.

9. a lorry to carry the semester's worth of readings and textbooks.

10. intelligent friends. what would yoy do without them, right?

11. creating a good relationship between you and ISB drivers. they are the most powerful people in the university.



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