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theyoungersister previous posts neil gaiman rocks. cheap thrills. aaaaaaaah. i learnt that... the perfect date. OVER! An Ode to my Fats. the first time. to mock myself further.. past December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 links ashley! jingaling nini theOlderSister yunwen (: PostSecret
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006 reflections of 2005 1:29 AM figured i'd blog. it's been a while anyway. ahhaa. no one reads this, but i'll do this for my own sake. the year 2005...was an interesting year. started on a high, with a dance performance on the 4th of january at THE kalakshetra auditorium that just left me on a high for the next dunno how many months. haha. unforgettable. met fellow dancers, shared the passion, made new friends who are such darlings, they remember me even a year later. aren't they sweet? over the year, i've obviously grown. for the better, i hope. i've learnt to be more thick skinned, and less sensitive. you can't please everybody. and don't bother trying. it exhausts you. and that if you don't matter to someone, that person shouldn't matter as much to you. caring for someone when they don't tires you out. Ive learnt that it isnt worth caring much about what other people think of you. you click with some you don't with others. i've understood that friends come and go, and there are a precious few that you hold on to (hahaha, i is stealing quotes from baz lurman). and that that precious few are the one that really matter. i've realised that it isnt worth being affected by fleeting friendships, and that some acquaintances stay acquaintances. ive learnt that the best way not to get bothered by people is by being nice to everyone but to not expect anything in return. it makes you happy, and it spares you the disappointment when your expectations aren't met. i've learnt that if you depend on others for your own happiness, youll never be happy. best to create your own happiness. ive done things that i'd never imagined i'd ever do. haah. amazing. ive stepped out of my comfort zone. i dont regret anything ive done, though. (okay fine maybe one. or 2. shuttup anuja. haha). ive let my guard down, and ive been hurt cos of that. but hell, it was a learning experience. ive realised that im a lot more emotionally vulnerable than i thought i was. that i'm actually a closet sap. hahaha. and that hurt, anger, bitterness and disappointment can last for an extremely long time in me. that it can really impact your self exteem. fortunately, youve got the good stuff to fall back on. yes? yes. i've also realised that there is no point acting to please others around you. if you have to resort to that, they aren't worth it. they are insignificant to you. if someone makes you question yourself, your beliefs, your values...tell them to fuck off. they aren't worth it. if you're happy with yourself, no one should influence you. sometimes, confidence can hinder your progress. never assume youre too good for something, youre bound to screw it up if that's the attitude you go with. hard work, effort will always be rewarded - with personal satisfaction, even if they arent reflected in grades. attitude shows. cockiness is obvious. sometimes you dont deserve what you ask for. and i cant do without my parents. although annoying at times, i can't do without them. they are amazing. i can't thank them enough for what theyve done for me. sometimes, im glad i didnt go overseas, i dont know what id do without them. besides they give me enough freedom to do what i want, so i cant complain can i? ;) i can't ask them for anything more. just wish that daddy wouldnt call me fat. sob. not just parents, ive realised that i cant do without my relatives either. they are sincere, they care about you, and they are genuine. what more can you ask for? i vow to spend more time with my aunts, uncles, cousins....everybody. i may see them once a year, i may see them only during family gatherings, but this should change. but even the tiniest of contact should be appreciated, for the warmth of family cannot be replaced. if anything, an effort should be made to get closer to relatives. time shouldnt be an excuse. family...is priceless. any regrets, any what ifs and any if onlys should be avoided where family is concerned. religion now has increased importance in my life. must make it a point to go to the temple once a week, every friday or something. ive realised that theres only so much you can question. overly questioning doesnt get you anywhere, sometimes faith is all you need. fix your religious beliefs, and stick to them, doesnt matter what others think. as long as youre happy, thats what counts, doesnt it? religion is a personal issue, and its not rigid. it should be flexible. there is no right or wrong, it's all up to you. picked up some nasty habits, too. hopefully its just a phase, yes? haha. -grin- ive also loosened my limits. ive surprised myself and others with the things ive done. im willing to try new things...not sure if this is a good or bad thing. haha. ive considered issues, which i previously thought blasphemous. oh well. we all grow up, don't we. what is being a teenager without these? ahhaa. life would have been boring otherwise. dance wise, its been great. an exam well done, a performanced in india which could have been better, but well, its over, and not like i havent improved. ive got more initiative now, not so hesitant to express bhavam. confidence plays a huge role on stage. you make a mistake, dont let that hinder your performance. grit your teeth and go through with it. ive realised that the happiness derived from dance - practice and performance - cannot be aptly expressed in words. on stage on the 29th of december, i remember thinking that this is what i want to do for the rest of my life. it was a brilliant feeling. every performance has a different feel to it, and leaves you wanting to do more, and to do better for the next one. cant wait for arangetram. will do my best!! =) here's wishing everyone a belated happy new year, and blessings for a great year ahead. =) 0 comments |