|
theyoungersister previous posts just a ride this shall remain titleless till further inspiration. i'm soo not using shaadi.com anymore. stresss go very far away. huh?! smses with daddy. be my valentine. read. reading. readingss. dancing in the rain past December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 links ashley! jingaling nini theOlderSister yunwen (: PostSecret
Shouts Credits Base code:OHsaygoodbye Image: Kristi |
Wednesday, March 08, 2006 owwww. 1:29 AM did the first item alright, then i fucked up a bit in the jathiswaram - forgot some steps here and there which made boss kinda angry but whatever. varnam was a disaster i think. my left knee bloody gave way on me and i was trying not to put pressure on it but hell, that didn't work either. pffft. i mixed up all the hands in varattum swami - eeeps. i always always do that and lavi and boss just laughed at me while i emoted has he forgotten all those sweet words he told me? has the taste of the other woman grown on him already all mixed up. hahhaa. the rest of the items were alright la, not brilliant. when it came to the thillana it was 'okay get over and done with it'. i'm soo slacking on the footwork but screw it! i'm starting a save anuja's knees! campaign. ended rehearsal at 12 am! omg i feel so bad for the musicians, esp the teachers who have class tmr morning. so sorry and thank you so much! the mridangist is how goood. i tell you listening to the mridangam can give me an orgasm i swear. i realised that dancing isn't about the performance itself. the whole joy of performing involves going for practice, loving learning all the items, perfecting the nuances of each dance and savouring each movement until it becomes natural, until it is part and parcel of you. until it's not just your body moving mechanically, but your whole being moving in harmony to the music. that's why i don't really feel like performing on the 11th. it's cos i haven't been involved enough during my practices, it's always 'hurry hurry and do finish got lots more to learn' . i hate learning under pressure or a time constraint. it sucks. it takes away the entire joy of learning. i've been dancing for the sake of it cos this whole performance has been more of a burden than anything. i hate dancing for the sake of it. my smile does not come naturally. my body is rigid, my movements don't flow and my eyes don't emote. when my heart isn't in the process, how can i be proud that i've done a performance? i'm unfeeling. fuck la. there is no satisfaction derived this time. i swear, i will never do this again. it doesn't justify the art form and does not justify my time spent on it. i don't want to be a machine that dances on command, it's gotta come from within. hopefully the arangetram won't be like this. :S and many many many thanks to daddy darling who came to hall to tape my knees in a vain attempt to salvage them. =) so sweet of him. of course he was lecturing me in the process: have you really not gone online? will you really not go online for the next 2 weeks? you know watching plays is really expensive? are you doing enough work? are you taking your vitamins? what's the dosage of your glucosamine? 900 mg? that's pathetic! you should take more! i guess that's daddy darling, yes? i prefer his concern to mother's overbearingness anyday. 1 comments |